Sunday, 11 May 2014

Day 11: Failure


I suppose now would be a good opportunity to think and talk about the concept of failure. I didn't write anything yesterday. The question is: Is it OK to fail at things?

In the context of these challenges, I did state, right at the beginning, that it was. The intention of the entire exercise was to better myself through exploration and push up against my limits. Not succeeding in doing so can be looked at as a failure, but that doesn't have to be a negative thing. Through failure that we learn as much about ourselves as through success. So yes, it's OK to fail If you understand why. So what happened?

Time. It's all about time. Or rather the management of time. Or rather, my mismanagement of my time. As with the first challenge - a gym level work out every day - writing every day requires making space my schedule every day. That would be at least 15 minutes, but more likely 30-45. I could write just a paragraph of course, but if you are still with me on this little journey, you'll know how unlikely that is. Not to mention thinking time. I try to think about what I'm writing, before, during and afterwards. while I proof and edit. This very line is a edit done after the initial piece.

Yesterday - Saturday - I was out of time from the moment I woke up. We spent the most of the morning and early afternoon flat hunting. By 3pm, we'd seen 5 places through 3 different estate agents in South London. I'm sure you've all been there, so I probably don't have to tell you - it's exhausting. We hadn't really planned on it taking so long, but that's the way these things go, so from then onwards my day was completely shot. I had to cancel 2 other appointments and was late for an afternoon lunch with my mum and a family friend. Then I was due over in Chiswick at a social gathering at 5, but I got there around 6 (whilst getting soaked by the rotten weather in the process). I had planned to leave there at 9, but I couldn't leave until 10. I headed back to Clapham for a birthday party at bar near the junction. I made it there for 11 (an hour late) and didn't get home until early Sunday morning.

In fact, the time loss has spilled into today. The flat hunting has had a knock on effect which means that I've had to spend today doing a whole bunch of related things that were not in my Sunday plan.

Like I said, out of time. No time to write so challenge failed.

What I take away is that I need to allow myself space to do the challenge from the beginning of the day.
"Don't put off till tomorrow what you can do today!"
Or perhaps in my case, it would be better to say
"Don't put off till this evening what you can do this morning"
And, challenge or no, I need to make my schedule less complicated and do a better job of managing my time. Too many appointments, to many projects, priorities all mixed up. That's me. That's something I need to change. Maybe I need to do 30 days of no planning at all?

And I know, I still haven't answered any of the questions or topics from a few days back. Patience, I'm still thinking.