Day 05: No Recreational Internet

Back in January, when I declared I was going to do a 'gym level work out every day', the reply I got back from most people I knew was "damn! that sounds tough!". And when I told people I'm going to 'be a vegetarian for a month', the answer I got back was "Really? That's going to be hard for you, isn't it?" These are the kind of responses you'd expect. But when I said "I'm going to give up recreational internet for 30 days" the response was "Are you out of your f**king mind?" Wow.

Seems that no one can remember a time without the internet. Or rather, no one can imagine life now without the internet. Strange isn't it? Only ten years ago, for most people in England the internet was something they used at work. A lot of  homes were not connected and there was hardly any broadband (despite the claims of the provider). There weren't even smart phones & Wifi was uncommon.

In this regard the UK was running far behind it's European neighbours. Having spent most of the nineties in Germany & Holland, I was shocked at the appalling level of connectivity when I returned to the UK in 2005. It was like, for lack of a better description, the mid-nineties. People were still using Dial-up! Back in the Netherlands I had a 2 megabit cable connection in 1999. By the time I returned to the UK, it was on a standard European 30 megabits at home.

Indeed I was on-line much earlier most. I subscribed to CompuServe back in 1993 and have been checking my email a million times a day ever since. I remember coming back to London on a holiday in 1994 and trying to convince my friends (yes, you lot on Facebook right now) to get email addresses and modems. People thought I was mad.

But oh how things have changed, eh? Now, not only are we all on-line, but we are all on-line all the time. On our mobile phones. Nearly everyone has multiple email address, multiple ways of getting on-line and I'd argue that it's become the main way people connect with each other. We probably send more messages to our friends than make phone calls. Ask yourself this: The last four people you communicated with - do you even have their phone numbers anywhere?

I've been on-line for over 20 years. That's twice as long as most people. So would it be a challenge for me to give it up?

Challenge No. 04: No Recreational Internet

It turns out that I can't just give it up. For one thing, my employer wouldn't allow it. In this internet age, half my job revolves around being on-line. And truthfully, messaging - especially email - has become a life essential. It's no longer a luxury. Even my Mum uses email. And she's going to be 75 this year.

So the rules of this challenge again would have to be quite specific. No Recreational Internet means nothing that is non-essential. Anything work related is allowed. As is regular email or direct messaging. But aside from that...

No Google maps.
No BBC iPlayer.
No on-line games.
No twitter.
No Wikipedia
No on-line Shopping
No YouTube
NO Facebook

and so on. So how did I get along?

This is the challenge everybody expected me to fail at. In fact I think everyone thought I would just curl up into a ball and tremble in confusion. At work people came up to me on the first day to enquire about my well being. Are you OK? How are you managing? They shuddered at the thought of the torture I must have been going through.

Really? Come on people, wake up!

Sure I've been on-line for a long time, but I'm 44 years old. I didn't even own a computer until I was 20 something. So no, it's not that hard when you think about it.

The first week was the most interesting. I got so much stuff done. All those little things around the home. My ever increasing do list that I never get round to because I'm wasting time on Facebook or I'm getting lost down the YouTube rabbit hole.

Sorted!

I read loads of books and comics. Watched all sorts of TV & DVDs that had been stacking up. Wrote stuff. Cleared out my inbox (email is allowed, remember). Made phone calls and visited people!

The thing I found hardest was the habit I've developed of cross-referencing things I see on TV with Wikipedia, IMDB and Amazon. What films has that actor been in? Is that a fact? How much does one of those cost? Somewhere along the line I'd become dependant on having a second screen.

The weirdest day was when one of my closest Friends - Frank - become a father for the second time. He called me first thing in the morning to give me the good news. Laura had a baby boy and both were in great health. But then, several hours later, I started to get text messages from people. Most of them went something like this "Hey, you're not on Facebook, so you probably don't know that Frank & Laura had a baby". I think I got three messages like that.

The assumption was, that if you are not on Facebook, you don't have a social life.

I'm glad I did this challenge. I'm on Facebook a lot less now. I've rediscovered reading at home (not just on the tube). And I'm using a lot more of my cookbooks - and believe me I have many of those. If only I owned an encyclopaedia...

Next: Vegetarianism.

Day 04: 30 days of Gifts

Presents. Sometimes I hate buying people presents. Not because I don't want to give a gift or spend the money, that's the easy bit, it's the obligation and the struggle of finding something unique and different. Christmas, birthdays, leaving, babies, get well, new homes and a plethora of other reasons that society have deemed as present giving time. I'd rather just give someone a gift randomly when I felt like it or when I've chanced across the perfect gift. With no obligation for that person to do the same in return. But that's not the world we live in, is it?

I was thinking about this at the end of January when considering Gavin's upcoming 30th birthday. When you've known someone a long time and have lived and shared together chances are that you've already given them all the easy gifts. These are the obvious ones, the ones you know they really want. The things they've desired for a long time, the things that you know will make them happy (normally because they've said so).

But certain occasions require additional thought and effort. Needless to say this often comes with extra expense - I think for most people that's the easy way out. Just. Spend. More. Make it bigger or more extravagant. That'll show them how much you care.

The 30th birthday is one of those occasions. It was whilst stressing over this that I realised my whole attitude towards gift giving might need reviewing.

Perhaps there is a challenge here?

Seeing as Gavin was going to turn 30 how about I give him one present every day for 30 days? It doesn't matter if the gifts are small providing they are things he would love or appreciate. The challenge is in being forced into thinking about it repeatedly, daily in fact, rather than throwing a large amount of cash at one big write-off moment (which is what I've tended to do in the past).

So that's what I did. The gifts varied from books to small trinkets to the occasional act of goodwill (I retrieved a favourite item of clothing that he thought he'd lost on a drunken night out by going to the venue and harassing the staff until they found it). Yes, this challenge became expensive quite quickly (even though I tried to spend no more than £5 each time). There were a couple of meals out, a concert and some other bits and pieces that cost about £20 or more.

The thing is, no matter how well you know someone and what you think they want (or need), if you have to keep buying them presents that they will like, use or appreciate it really makes you think about them, and your relationship with them, at a much deeper level. How well have you really listened? Are you sure they like that scent? That style? That colour? Do you really know who they are?

The final gift was a blank cheque. That may sound like a bit of a cop out but I wanted to be sure that there was at least one thing that he truly wanted. Something he would ask for if he could.

The cheque hasn't been written yet...

Next: No recreational Internet

Day 03: Eye Hospital

And then... and then... and then he woke up with a cyst forming on his eyelid and a serious case of the sneezes.

I've had a really crappy day. Sneezing at a rate of 30 times an hour, combined with an enflamed eyeball I trundelled myself down to the Western Eye Hospital and spent about 3 hours sitting around sneezing and wincing everytime I blinked (or sneezed).

Apparently it's the incredibly common Blepharitis. Pronounced 'Blurf-iritis'. In addition to the unlikely name, the eye doctor described it to me in laymans terms. "it's caused by particulate entering in eye, most likely from the eyelashes. You can think of it as having dandruff in your eyes".

What? Who? Sausages?

Anyway, I got some antibiotic cream and have to massage my eye through a hot flannel 4 times a day.

And with that as an excuse, I'm done writing. I'll go back to the world of challenges tomorrow. Now its time... for Adventure Time and a movie.

Next: 30 Days of Gifts. Seriously this time.

Day 02: The First Challenge

Looking back, I’m actually amazed I managed the first challenge at all. The following morning, or rather afternoon, I woke up on a beanbag in Nick & Claire’s attic with a massive headache, a lump on my head and no memory of the previous 12 hours. Whilst this will sound to most people like a typical New Year’s Day tale, for me it’s quite unusual. Not the waking up in an attic bit. No, that happens to me all the time. It’s the memory loss.

I never suffer memory loss. I don’t have unaccountable periods of time when I've partied too hard. I don’t get ‘blank periods’ even after being legless drunk. Quite the opposite. I remember every excruciating detail. Normally to my embarrassment.

No, I think I smacked my head on a rafter in a drunken state and actually knocked myself out. Hence the bruise and cut on my head. The party had gravitated to the loft (where Nick’s DJ Boudoir is located). Of course to everyone else it just looked like I had too much and passed out on the floor. Which, to be fair, is fairly close to the truth.

So what about the first challenge? Well, I could have chosen anything really but, as I nursed my head and hazy memory of the night before over a masterful breakfast provided by our fabulous hosts, I decided to go with ‘Gym-level workout every day’, which on the surface seems completely nuts considering:

a) I was in no condition to be doing any exercise

b) I was on the other side of London from my gym

c) I had only 4 hours until the gym’s early New Year’s day closing time

But, hey, what’s the point of a challenge if it’s not challenging?

Remarkably, I made it there in time and I didn't die on the exercise bike. Or in the pool. Or even on the Big Cock Machine*. I returned from the gym very holier-than-the-rest-of-the-wrong-uns.

See, I've done the gym workout challenge before. Back in 2011 when I first rode the challenge train. It’s actually not that hard if you have the time to do the workout. Once you are past the first few days it’s actually quite easy. In fact it’s addictive. And let’s face it, it was never going to be a bigger chore than on Jan 1st**.

I think the wording of the challenge is quite important. ‘A gym-level workout’ means burning around 500 calories/working up a sweat/wearing yourself out. You can do that in a number of ways without going to the gym such as walking 6-8km at a brisk pace or spending a couple of hours on the allotment digging. I have a Fitbit so it’s quite easy to measure my energy burn in any of these cases.

What was hard, and completely unanticipated, was not having time to go to the gym at all. Work was utterly crazy at the end of January due to my unexpected inheritance of someone else’s job. That very nearly broke me. Fortunately I’m quite capable of going to the gym before work.

Oddly, I didn't lose any weight this time round. But I did trim down a fair amount and felt generally great. Did I keep it up after that? Hell no. It’s just too hard if you have to go to work every day. But I've managed to maintain 2-3 times a week, which is better than I was doing before and I feel great for it.

Next: 30 days of gifts.

*I will explain what that is in a different blog piece.

** Not true it turns out, if you have to work a 14 hour day in the West End. That is way harder.

Day 01: In the Beginning

Where do I start? At the very beginning I suppose. They say it's a very good place to start. Let's turn the clock back 3 years (cue dreamy harp music)...

Sometime back in early 2011, while I was enjoying a few months of hard-earned leisure time, I came across a TED Talk by Matt Cutts called 'Try Something New for 30 Days'. At 3'27" it's not very long but of all the TED Talks I've watched (which is quite a few) I feel that that this one has had the biggest, or at least the most measurable, impact on my life.

Matt's proposal is that if you want to try something new, or give something up, you can do that without too much pain for 30 days. That's about the right length before it becomes too much of an effort. He calls it The 30 Day Challenge. It's not completely his original idea, he openly references Morgan Spurlock's Super Size Me which in turn led to the 30 Days TV series, as an example of others before him playing with the same idea.

So, I thought I'd give it a try. Something easy at first. Or so I thought. I went for ‘No Facebook for 30 days’. Turned out to be nowhere near as easy as I thought as well as quite revealing about the way I interact with my friends and how I spend my free time. After completing that successfully I thought I'd try something hard: 'A gym-level workout every day for 30 days'. That actually proved to be easier than I thought.

And then I went to work in the Far East for a while and forgot about the 30 Days thing completely.

Back to the present. Sort of. (Sound of needle being removed harshly from record)

I've always been one to make and, for the most part, keep New Year’s resolutions. This New Year’s Eve, on a drunken whim, I declared that I would do 12 back-to-back 30 day challenges. Before I had a chance to change my mind my good friend Claire said (as she was topping up my glass with an unknown cocktail) that if I succeeded in the first 3 she would donate £200 to a charity of my choice!

Whilst I have always maintained that I don't do this kind of thing for charity (a discussion for a later date) how could I, in good conscience, then back down? Answer: I couldn't.

We were on, as they say, like Donkey Kong!

30 Days of Write

New years Resolution 2014: To complete 12 consecutive 30 day challenges. I'm allowed to have 5 days off, making the yearly total up to 365 days. If I'm ill and can't do the challenge then that's not considered a failure. It's also OK to fail. This isn't intended as a punishment.

The story so far...

January: Gym-level workout every day.

February: Buy 30 gifts for Gavin to celebrate his 30th Birthday.

March: No recreational Internet for 30 days.

April: Vegetarian for the month!

May: Write something for public consumption every day for 30 days.

So here we are. May sounds easy doesn't it? Just write a blog. Maybe the occasional short story. How about a film or book review? Maybe even publish an interview (with who?). Let's see how this goes.

Land of the free

rom the back of the taxi, he took it all in. Kids playing baseball in the school field. The stars and stripes flying at every turn. A little way earlier up the road they'd passed a burger joint that looked like it came straight out of a 50's Sc-Fi movie. The Silver Diner.

"If there's one thing you can say for sure about the USA", said the cab driver, in a heavy Indian accent, "it's that from the moment you arrive, to the moment you leave, it feels like America."

"Yeah, er, right mate", said Denis as he flinched at the ridiculously sized SUV that had just cut across two lanes and slammed the breaks on in front of them. "This is definitely a country which is not confused about its identity." Which was something, he mused silently to himself, that you definitely couldn't say about Britain any more...

* * *

America. 3 years since my I'd last set foot in 'the land of the free' and my 19th visit about as many years. Some of those visits have been for pleasure, others have been for business, still others have been for personal reasons which were neither business nor pleasure. This time was a mix of all three.

On the first leg of my journey I stayed with my very close friends, Ron & Sharon, in the Washington DC area. It's one of my usual stops. I enjoy their company and they enjoy mine. Over the years I've been privileged to have been accepted as a surrogate member of the family and despite my various oddities and overall weirdness, they've never been judgemental and have always had time for me when the chips were down. I wouldn't be the person I am now without their friendship and for that I will be eternally thankful.

Life in the suburbs of DC hasn't really changed much since my first to the area visit 15 years ago. OK, so the trees have grown, the neighbourhood's have developed somewhat and things are noticeably more expensive. The core elements, however, are essentially still the same. Recently built cul-de-sacs nearby open-plan shopping complexes, centred around

a handful of large chain stores. Big homes with twin garages, wooden decks and barbecues out the back. Aside from style differences in the architecture, it's pretty much Anytown, USA.

It's nice. Its modern. Its clean. Its relatively crime free. Alas, it is a little bit bland.

Still, there are much worse places in the world. Much worse. Trust me, I've lived in some of them. Would I live here? Sure. Would I be happy? Probably not. I'm a city kid and these kind of communities are not the city. Perfect, if you want to raise a family. Terrible, if you are a single young professional who doesn't drive.

Still, I come to visit often because I enjoy the difference. Maybe that's why I'm able to reflect so much when I'm there. I spend a lot of time thinking, resolving, determining and generally straightening out my life. The day to day here is such a world away from what I'm used to that it helps me put things in perspective. And believe me when I say that I often need to do that.

My next stop on this trip was was Richmond, Virginia. Only a hundred miles south of Washington DC, but it feels like a thousand. Richmond was - is - the capital of the Confederate South. Now, for Europeans this, at first, seems strange. To us, the term 'southern states'

leaves us thinking in literal terms: Texas, Florida, California. Places that butt up against the Mexican border. But it terms of the US civil war, the south back then started just a little way north of Washington DC. A mythical border called 'the Mason-Dixon' line.

Richmond feels like the south. The architecture, the accents, the social sensibilities. It's such an amazing contrast from DC that it's a bit mind blowing at first. Even though I've visited there several times in the past, I find myself staring at things constantly and marvelling at the differences. Which one is the real America? Neither I suspect, but Richmond feels a lot closer to the kind of world I'm used to in Europe than most other places I've been in the USA. It's regular folk, struggling to stay above water, doing what they can to survive.

Unfortunately, if you are looking to encounter racial divides & bigotry anywhere in the USA, here is a good place to start. After you've been there a while, you start to realise (at least I did, as someone of mixed race) that not everyone approves of 'love across the gene pool'.

My friends who live there, Mugsy & Robbie, are far from that character type though, (and I do wonder why they live there) and represent the other side of that town - bohemian, liberated, free thinking and counter culture.

Richmond is definitely not bland. Would I live there? No. If I was forced too, would I be happy? Probably! Weird, huh?

My final stop in the USA was Orlando, Florida. Or should I say Disney World. I came to visit a friend and pay my first visit to the kingdom of the mouse.

I couldn't have picked a better place to contrast the other two. A manufactured environment, designed in the last century by one of the world's great dreamers. Orlando is the USA as imagined by Walt Disney. A place where dreams come true. And it is - if you're looking for a

perfect, fairytale existence. It delivers exactly what it promises. Good, wholesome family living

and entertainment. I couldn't find fault in that regard.

Now, I'm possibly sounding a bit cynical here, but i assure you that's not my intention. I had a great time in Florida, and I'm especially thankful to my hosts - The Johnson Family - for taking care of me, showing me around and welcoming me into their home. As families go, I've seldom met a nicer, kinder group of people.

The kids range from 8 to 17 in age (with ages 11, 13 & 15 in between) and are smart, funny & polite. Mum & dad should be - and I think they are - proud. I wish all families were like the Johnsons - the world would be a much better place for it.

As for the Disney experience... I think that deserves an entry of it's own to do it justice...